There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My feet surprised me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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