coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
