I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
