Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
