i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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