Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
