I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
