Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
