why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
