It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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