Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
