Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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