her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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