His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
