sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
