I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
