Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
