honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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