YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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