Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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