Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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