she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
