Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
