we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
