i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
