I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
