I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
