Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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