Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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