My room smells like vodka and shame
I should be sponsored by Trojan
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
