There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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