One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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