Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
