Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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