yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
