bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
