I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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