Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Too much gin, very little bucket
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
