I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
