HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
