Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
