they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
