did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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