You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
