So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
