I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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