I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize