Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
