Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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