So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
