As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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