he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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