This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
