dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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