we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
