The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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