Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
