You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
