real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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