Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
