Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
