I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
