i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
