look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
