whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
