It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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